Try before they die

Jack Lumber app iconWe at Anti-Arboreal Association know that not everyone can quickly incorporate our teachings without a fair amount of deprogramming from the years and years of the trees’ lies. That’s why we’re so grateful that our friends at Owlchemy Labs have built an app for that: Jack Lumber (available on Google Play for Android or the iOS App Store).

A tree killed his Granny…  Now he's out for revenge!Chop through as many trees, logs, branches and twigs as humanly possible in this fast-paced and fun training exercise. Learn the most effective sneak attacks (remember: attack at night!), try out the latest in power saw technologies, and quickly desentitize your young to the skills they’ll need in this new world order.

Trees Suck! video

See the gameplay in action

Play the game now on Mac, PC, Steambox, iOS and Android and more at

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  • About the AAA

    What you are about to encounter is years of accumulated knowledge, concised and repackaged into manageable, understandable chunks. Chunks that will help empower you in the fight against the ultimate evil.

    Granted, this information rarely takes upon first processing. Years of intense searching led us at the AAA to this point. We have displayed this knowledge then in a non-threatening online publication so as to invite all to our non-wooden table of freedom at their own pace.

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    M. Night Shyamalan's documentary ("The Happening") about trees was labeled as a "thriller" by the MPAA, but make no mistake: the events in this film are truthy. Watch it now!